This is Mr. Subspencious speaking again. I was just thinking about something today....Can a man and a woman "really" just be friends? Do you love your friends? and What is romance? Well. Truth is, we worry way too much about what to think, not realizing that it is equally as important account feelings and character as well. I mean when you think about it, how many of us really take time to actually categorize friends.
Anyone who has read my blog before, know that I believe that there is only two real emotions, Love and Hate; everything else is just a mixed feeling. However, emotion isn't a matter of how you feel it is how you express that feeling. For example, I love my homeboys; but I won't put my lips on them. I don't mind assisting them, caring for them, or spending time with them. I don't have no sexual or romanticism involved for me to show them affection. I love my parents and I love my pets; but I do not desire to have sex with them neither. So when you get right down to it, no matter how we like to admit it, Friendship is a sign of attraction no matter how you look at it. The force that binds friends together is a matter of two things Trust and Benefits. Benefits being what someone is good for is defined by character and the more benefit one can find in the other strengthens the bond between the two.
So, can a man and a female be "just friends"...yeah, technically they can be. That is assuming that she fits all of the criteria in which two males or two females would become friends as well. I find this to be often unlikely but not impossible. I don't recall having drunken many Herald & Kumar adventures 1:00 am am trying to get a dollar burger; or randomly walk behind a car or in a ally mid conversation to take a piss in the nearest bush; or go flirt with random chick and if one of the homeboys is lucky enough to have sex with her; and then come back and embark on another Hearld & Kumar run 1:50 am trying to get some more beer before 2:00am ....To men, this is fun...to women this is just disgusting and immature. Nor would I seen a man who is willing to watch reality shows all night, while she gossip about boys, and watch some chicks flicks and the man not be one bit irritated. Frankly, form my personal experience the only woman I ever went on a Herald & Kumar runs with, were my girlfriends and I was just have sex with her at random and my homeboys wasn't invited...if they were that would be a problem.
Yes, I do realize the conditions I stated are fairly extreme, but if it doesn't work in extreme cases, it won't work in minor cases neither. However, if their friendship was based on being co-workers, classmates, or even social networking friends who just happen to have a lot to talk about. After-all Good conversation...or anything modified with the word "good" can be considered a benefit.
So far I have answered that one must love their friends and men and women can befriends. So logically speaking a friend is someone you can Trust. Ethically speaking a friend someone you can benefit form....However, emotion is a tricky one. We can love somebody but not have a logical or ethical reason for doing so. Some people call it Lust, some people call foolishness, and I personally call it far worst epithets. It is understandable as to why it is so....As adults, it becomes increasingly harder to make "friends" than it is to find "mates" because of our instinctual desire to reproduce (not intentionally but we like how it feels). If you are a grammarian; you will realize that I just used an active sentence. That because we ACTIVELY SEEK MATES by using the process of seduction. To seduce or subdue (same word believe it or not) means to lower someones awareness; thus making them easier to manipulate. Sometimes people lie, put up fronts, and even display behaviors that now how they would behave in a domestic setting. Then when the person of 'love - interest' is successfully 'befriended' that's when the 'courtship' stage begins. Ironically the court in courtship means respect, as in a process in which one uses to gain a potential mates 'trust' long enough to well....mate. However, your logical and ethical reasoning becomes clouded. Now the both individuals require legitimization their explain their sexual relationship...no matter their status. This where we answer our final question.
What is romance? Well, Romance is essentially an exaggeration of emotion. By placing emphasis on emotion people tend to be like "Oh they are so in love with each other, their relationships is okay" Despite ones lack of actually trust or benefits of that individual. {Insert Nigga ain't shit jokes here} but like the previous conditions it is possible to love someone, and be romantically involved. In fact, they say that 50% of all divorces occur simply because the married couple had a weak "friendship".
So when you think about it guys and gals....When someone on purpose places you in the "friend zone" they actually don't like you. In fact "friend zone" might as well be another word for "Enemy Zone" a line simply about to be crossed. No one actively seeks friendship it has away of just happening. That is kinda like saying I wan't all the benefits of a relationship, but I can't relate to you. In fact, I hate the term Platonic lovers also. I can't help but feel the fact that one would feel the need to add title to a friendship not only as disrespectful, but a sign of romanticism with in itself. As a male, and as an American, I feel that it is someone of a homoerotic term. Frankly, that the end product of a man romanticism another man and vise-versa. I would never tell a female nor a male friend that I enjoy everything they do for me but they are unattractive. That not only a contradiction but an insult that strikes at the very core of someones being. That is like say they not even human. Hell you might as well declare war. When you think about it, real friends never do anything that they wouldn't do to themselves.
So when you get right down to it, next time you see a friend ask yourself, Do I love them? Why do I love them? and What do I love them for? More or less have a Logical, Ethical, and Emotional reason for why they are your friend. Are we friends?
Anyone who has read my blog before, know that I believe that there is only two real emotions, Love and Hate; everything else is just a mixed feeling. However, emotion isn't a matter of how you feel it is how you express that feeling. For example, I love my homeboys; but I won't put my lips on them. I don't mind assisting them, caring for them, or spending time with them. I don't have no sexual or romanticism involved for me to show them affection. I love my parents and I love my pets; but I do not desire to have sex with them neither. So when you get right down to it, no matter how we like to admit it, Friendship is a sign of attraction no matter how you look at it. The force that binds friends together is a matter of two things Trust and Benefits. Benefits being what someone is good for is defined by character and the more benefit one can find in the other strengthens the bond between the two.
So, can a man and a female be "just friends"...yeah, technically they can be. That is assuming that she fits all of the criteria in which two males or two females would become friends as well. I find this to be often unlikely but not impossible. I don't recall having drunken many Herald & Kumar adventures 1:00 am am trying to get a dollar burger; or randomly walk behind a car or in a ally mid conversation to take a piss in the nearest bush; or go flirt with random chick and if one of the homeboys is lucky enough to have sex with her; and then come back and embark on another Hearld & Kumar run 1:50 am trying to get some more beer before 2:00am ....To men, this is fun...to women this is just disgusting and immature. Nor would I seen a man who is willing to watch reality shows all night, while she gossip about boys, and watch some chicks flicks and the man not be one bit irritated. Frankly, form my personal experience the only woman I ever went on a Herald & Kumar runs with, were my girlfriends and I was just have sex with her at random and my homeboys wasn't invited...if they were that would be a problem.
Yes, I do realize the conditions I stated are fairly extreme, but if it doesn't work in extreme cases, it won't work in minor cases neither. However, if their friendship was based on being co-workers, classmates, or even social networking friends who just happen to have a lot to talk about. After-all Good conversation...or anything modified with the word "good" can be considered a benefit.
So far I have answered that one must love their friends and men and women can befriends. So logically speaking a friend is someone you can Trust. Ethically speaking a friend someone you can benefit form....However, emotion is a tricky one. We can love somebody but not have a logical or ethical reason for doing so. Some people call it Lust, some people call foolishness, and I personally call it far worst epithets. It is understandable as to why it is so....As adults, it becomes increasingly harder to make "friends" than it is to find "mates" because of our instinctual desire to reproduce (not intentionally but we like how it feels). If you are a grammarian; you will realize that I just used an active sentence. That because we ACTIVELY SEEK MATES by using the process of seduction. To seduce or subdue (same word believe it or not) means to lower someones awareness; thus making them easier to manipulate. Sometimes people lie, put up fronts, and even display behaviors that now how they would behave in a domestic setting. Then when the person of 'love - interest' is successfully 'befriended' that's when the 'courtship' stage begins. Ironically the court in courtship means respect, as in a process in which one uses to gain a potential mates 'trust' long enough to well....mate. However, your logical and ethical reasoning becomes clouded. Now the both individuals require legitimization their explain their sexual relationship...no matter their status. This where we answer our final question.
What is romance? Well, Romance is essentially an exaggeration of emotion. By placing emphasis on emotion people tend to be like "Oh they are so in love with each other, their relationships is okay" Despite ones lack of actually trust or benefits of that individual. {Insert Nigga ain't shit jokes here} but like the previous conditions it is possible to love someone, and be romantically involved. In fact, they say that 50% of all divorces occur simply because the married couple had a weak "friendship".
So when you think about it guys and gals....When someone on purpose places you in the "friend zone" they actually don't like you. In fact "friend zone" might as well be another word for "Enemy Zone" a line simply about to be crossed. No one actively seeks friendship it has away of just happening. That is kinda like saying I wan't all the benefits of a relationship, but I can't relate to you. In fact, I hate the term Platonic lovers also. I can't help but feel the fact that one would feel the need to add title to a friendship not only as disrespectful, but a sign of romanticism with in itself. As a male, and as an American, I feel that it is someone of a homoerotic term. Frankly, that the end product of a man romanticism another man and vise-versa. I would never tell a female nor a male friend that I enjoy everything they do for me but they are unattractive. That not only a contradiction but an insult that strikes at the very core of someones being. That is like say they not even human. Hell you might as well declare war. When you think about it, real friends never do anything that they wouldn't do to themselves.
So when you get right down to it, next time you see a friend ask yourself, Do I love them? Why do I love them? and What do I love them for? More or less have a Logical, Ethical, and Emotional reason for why they are your friend. Are we friends?
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