Is it always wise to divorce someone over money?

  In America, we have this believe that one can buy morality. Basically, If it don't make money it don't make sense. After all, the capitol in capitalism lives blood is based off the green dollar bill and not the red stuff pumping though your veins. I have noticed in the media it is common knowledge that money is the most common reason why relationships fail, very rarely do we take ones 'character' in to primary consideration. One's character is defined by the things they do and not by how they do it. So I would like to take time to appreciate, all of those successful marriages in which money was the object of their survival and not of their affection.

 Let's break this subject down financially. Let's assume you are rich, millionaire entertainer and your spouse was some charming guy or gal you just met on the street. You get married have a couple kids and then the worst happens. For whatever reason, your spouse all of a sudden wants a divorce and demands alimony, child support, and your house.....did this person actually realize the grave error they just made. Let's assume you only make a million dollars a year and your ex-spouse wins the court case. After the legal fees are paid, they get they few thousand dollars of Alimony and child support is only 15% of your spouse income....Good job dummy. Now you are successful in the middle class making getting paid 150,000 dollars a year living in neighborhood full of millionaires instead of being a millionaire You will be broke by the end of that year from the property taxes alone. You see it happen all the time on T.V. many celebratory ex-spouses die broke for a reason.

 Now, lets say you are a poor couple. Both of you make minimum wage and you met each other on the street. You both have a couple of children, one loose their job. Now you supporting a family on minimum wage and you fee that the 'burden' is too much. You getting tired and frustrated because you no longer have any money left over. Feeling like you are the adult in the relationship...so you decided to get a divorce. You figure it would be cheaper this way to get rid of the dead weight. So, you leave them, keep the kids, apply for child support. You get rewarded and the courts require the spouse to get a job.....Good Job dummy. How you are gonna get 15% of nothing a month to support two children. Now you will have to feed at least 3 three people on one person's income, child support paying you an amount less than the grocery bill. More than likely will have to be dependent upon the welfare system only getting the benefits of two people in a house of 3. No matter how you look at it, Rick or Poor, you loose either way. Let not even get to mentioning the court fees.

  Don't let me get how stupid it is to end a relationship in which both people are working and one is 'dissatisfied' with the other simply because of the "struggle".....trust me like the problem with the millionaire...two income are always better than one. Even worst when children are involved...frankly a piece of a check won't cover the cost of children.  To many greedy and selfish individuals who rely on child support fit in this category.

  May older men has always told me this "You don't want a woman who sit around and wait on you to get home form work"

 Now this proverb can mean many things. A good woman knows how to keep herself entertained, perhaps. A good woman goes out and get a job, maybe. A good woman job is never done despite her employment status...exactly. No matter how you put it a good woman or man, married or not will be a person of character. Mind you, They mention women because these were men married to a woman....so naturally they would talk about a woman. However the rules are no different for a man. A man can't make money if he up under his wife all day.

 I noticed how all of these men mentioned something that most single-minded people never think about, Supplemental Income. When you think about it. One must work to make money, so when you work for yourself you actually save money. If you have an spare adult around the house, you have someone to babysit the children thus saving you thousands of dollars a year on daycare. Medical reasons, if you or a child get sick. You don't necessarily have to reply on hiring medical attention for that child or leave them alone and pray that child condition isn't terminal. Security is a big one, hey unless you can teach your dog how to dial 9-1-1 or how to use a shotgun. You really can't beat having a living in sentry. Take that A.D.T. home security. Ladies, if you have a man who doesn't work he can cook and clean like any other woman can....cut the grass, and do all necessarily chorus that you may not feel comfortable doing without hiring someone else to handle it.

 However, it is true you can't eat love and pay bills with kindness. You can still bring in more income to the side via other sources. One option, welfare. Generally someone who receives welfare makes an combined income about 1/3 that of what considered the 'cost of living' in a local area. So, lets go back to the two imaginary kids. As a single working parent you can only get benefits for those children, however if you are married, the spouse who isn't working can get benefits for the entire house. So now, you will get benefits for 4 people thus a minimum wage job clearly wasn't intended to support a family. Even if it is something as simple as food stamps that still goes up to roughly 200 dollars PER PERSON. This not to mention the various other programs that may help, out the family.  True its not luxurious by far, however, the benefits of team work far weight the advantages of divorce.

...That's not all my friends. There is money all around us. If the black community can pay dope dealers 10,000 thousands of dollars a year and all they do is sit around with drugs wrapped around they musty balls sags and sweaty titties...or ass cracks.... You really have no excuse as to why you can't contribute. I am not promoting the idea of selling drugs but there are legal options available such as donating plasma and making approx. 200-300 dollars tax free. Learn a crafts, go to college (hell a college loan is a hell of a lot faster than a pawnshop loan or cash advanced...ever notice how check cashing places always play pimp music) or you could even become a blogger and get paid for it.

 In conclusion, is it always wise to divorce someone over money.... No. You divorce someone who is lazy. If you are associated, married, dating, or even friends with someone who isn't willing to work their keep....don't keep them. Thick or thin, no matter how rough the times maybe. Character is what really matters.  

Open Minds in a "Closed Relationship"

I have been in a lot of relationships to know how men work! They tend to be very complex and indirect human-beings. I am not saying that us women are not because we are but there is a difference. Men like to fall into a pit and not have any  emergency exit strategy. 

Cheating is pretty much all about the pleasure for men and they do not put in much thought about the consequences from either party. Whereas women tend to plan these things out, very precise, and we know exactly how it is going to end. In no way am I saying, "Hey, men are stupid," but if thinking with your penis is stupid then so be it. 

If you are in a relationship you are pretty much bond by the love contract until the policy must be revised. Now if someone completely breaks the agreement by acting untrustworthy and committing infidelity then there is a problem. Now you can resubmit this contract after all parties have been forgiven and document the case or you can refuse all contracts with this party in the future. In layman's terms you can forgive your partner or break up with them.  

If forgiven there are always going to be changes in the relationship. It could be anything from extra nagging, no trust, where you been speeches, etc. Men act as if they do not spread their seed they are going to die and no one can be in a relationship with that so what do you do? You got three choices: break up with him, become gay, or have an open mind to your closed relationship.

We all know how the first two end and the title of this post is "Open Minds in a Closed Relationship". So what does this mean? Lol exactly what it means silly!! Give him exactly what he wants but set rules so you both have control over the situation. But hey are we not in a relationship?? Yes you are but let's be realistic about whereabouts of your significant other! 

Emotionally cheating is the worse there is as far as maintaining a relationship. Unless that person comes home with an STD but you were suppose to set rules so that's on you. Sexual curiosity is something that can not be killed by love. Now if you have a person who does not have a problem with staying faithful then you are good!  

True Definitions of Friendship.

  This is Mr. Subspencious speaking again. I was just thinking about something today....Can a man and a woman "really" just be friends? Do you love your friends? and What is romance? Well. Truth is, we worry way too much about what to think, not realizing that it is equally as important account feelings and character as well. I mean when you think about it, how many of us really take time to actually categorize friends.

  Anyone who has read my blog before, know that I believe that there is only two real emotions, Love and Hate; everything else is just a mixed feeling. However, emotion isn't a matter of how you feel it is how you express that feeling. For example, I love my homeboys; but I won't put my lips on them. I don't mind assisting them, caring for them, or spending time with them. I don't have no sexual or romanticism involved for me to show them affection. I love my parents and I love my pets; but I do not desire to have sex with them neither. So when you get right down to it, no matter how we like to admit it, Friendship is a sign of attraction no matter how you look at it. The force that binds friends together is a matter of two things Trust and Benefits. Benefits being what someone is good for is defined by character and the more benefit one can find in the other strengthens the bond between the two.

  So, can a man and a female be "just friends"...yeah, technically they can be. That is assuming that she fits all of the criteria in which two males or two females would become friends as well. I find this to be often unlikely but not impossible. I don't recall having drunken many Herald & Kumar adventures 1:00 am am trying to get a dollar burger; or randomly walk behind a car or in a ally mid conversation to take a piss in the nearest bush; or go flirt with random chick and if one of the homeboys is lucky enough to have sex with her; and then come back and embark on another Hearld & Kumar run 1:50 am  trying to get some more beer before 2:00am ....To men, this is fun...to women this is just disgusting and immature. Nor would I seen a man who is willing to watch reality shows all night, while she gossip about boys, and watch some chicks flicks and the man not be one bit irritated. Frankly, form my personal experience the only woman I ever went on a Herald & Kumar runs with, were my girlfriends and I was just have sex with her at random and my homeboys wasn't invited...if they were that would be a problem.

  Yes, I do realize the conditions I stated are fairly extreme, but if it doesn't work in extreme cases, it won't work in minor cases neither. However, if their friendship was based on being co-workers, classmates, or even social networking friends who just happen to have a lot to talk about. After-all Good conversation...or anything modified with the word "good" can be considered a benefit.

  So far I have answered that one must love their friends and men and women can befriends. So logically speaking a friend is someone you can Trust. Ethically speaking a friend someone you can benefit form....However, emotion is a tricky one. We can love somebody but not have a logical or ethical reason for doing so. Some people call it Lust, some people call foolishness, and I personally call it far worst epithets. It is understandable as to why it is so....As adults, it becomes increasingly harder to make "friends" than it is to find "mates" because of our instinctual desire to reproduce (not intentionally but we like how it feels). If you are a grammarian; you will realize that I just used an active sentence. That because we ACTIVELY SEEK MATES by using the process of seduction. To seduce or subdue (same word believe it or not) means to lower someones awareness; thus making them easier to manipulate. Sometimes people lie, put up fronts, and even display behaviors that now how they would behave in a domestic setting.  Then when the person of 'love - interest' is successfully 'befriended' that's when the 'courtship' stage begins. Ironically the court in courtship means respect, as in a process in which one uses to gain a potential mates 'trust' long enough to well....mate. However, your logical and ethical reasoning becomes clouded. Now the both individuals require legitimization their explain their sexual relationship...no matter their status. This where we answer our final question.

  What is romance? Well, Romance is essentially an exaggeration of emotion. By placing emphasis on emotion people tend to be like "Oh they are so in love with each other, their relationships is okay" Despite ones lack of actually trust or benefits of that individual. {Insert Nigga ain't shit jokes here} but like the previous conditions it is possible to love someone, and be romantically involved. In fact, they say that 50% of all divorces occur simply because the married couple had a weak "friendship".

  So when you think about it guys and gals....When someone on purpose places you in the "friend zone" they actually don't like you. In fact "friend zone" might as well be another word for "Enemy Zone" a line simply about to be crossed. No one actively seeks friendship it has away of just happening. That is kinda like saying I wan't all the benefits of a relationship, but I can't relate to you. In fact, I hate the term Platonic lovers also. I can't help but feel the fact that one would feel the need to add title to a friendship not only as disrespectful, but a sign of romanticism with in itself. As a male, and as an American, I feel that it is someone of a homoerotic term. Frankly, that the end product of a man romanticism another man and vise-versa. I would never tell a female nor a male friend that I enjoy everything they do for me but they are unattractive. That not only a contradiction but an insult that strikes at the very core of someones being. That is like say they not even human. Hell you might as well declare war. When you think about it, real friends never do anything that they wouldn't do to themselves.

  So when you get right down to it, next time you see a friend ask yourself, Do I love them? Why do I love them? and What do I love them for? More or less have a Logical, Ethical, and Emotional reason for why they are your friend. Are we friends? 

Why people cheat when they have awesome partners?

  How to prevent cheating has been the #1 issue plaguing all committed relationships since the beginning of time. Even worst when there are people who cheat on a partner who meets or surpass  one's desires in a relationship. Frankly, asking why do people cheat is kinda like asking why do people drink alcohol. That shot glass full of vodka didn't tell force you to pick it up and drink it.  There is no real logical answer as to why people do it; just really a matter of ones character or ethos as I like to call it.

First thing we must do is to define cheating:

Cheat: Act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, esp. in a game or examination: "she cheats at cards"  ....In other words: To be unfaithful (faith: means to trust or believe) 

So if you cheat, that makes you an person without character, untrustworthy. Now that we defined cheating I shall post a few possible reasons as to why people cheat on great mates.

1. They lacked morals the whole time: Let's face it, some people enter a relationship with the intentions of screwing you over anyway. Sadly cheater is synonymous with a liar and being faithful and chances are they have other questionable habits as well. One example, a supposedly straight partner who has a best friend of the opposite sex. If he/she was such a worthy mate, then why are they with you and not them?
   
   Advice: Mark you're property, the more time you spend with your partner publicly, the less likely the will try to cheat. Dump them the second they even utter such much as 2 words think they are better than you.
2. Humans are not monogamous: Well, if we were, we wouldn't cheat as often....simply because the rules of the relationship will allow for multiple mates. Polygyny (Multiple wives) - Has a few advantages economically ; women tend to be more attracted to men who are often seen to be attractive to other women (it is easier to get a girlfriend when you have a girlfriend). Chances are if a man can cheat on his partner he can support multiple mates....and if you are a polygamist that is more adults sharing their resources in a relationship this tripling the income, his sexual prawlious (he wont likely get bored), and not to mention the cost of the relationship will be virtually unchanged. Polyandry (Multiple Husbands) Chances many women practices this already; one example is women who have that 'guy friend' who basically does everything your boyfriend can't ....so in a way you are dating two men because chances are if your boyfriend was as skilled as him, you would not of formed that friendship. Another example, is a woman with multiple child support claims on multiple men, but no matter how you put it you are using multiple men to place substance in to one relationship. Many monogamous relationships have a nasty habit of calling these women sluts and whores...funny thing if sluts and whores where such bad people, then why do men find them so sexually attractive more so than a good looking woman who keeps her legs closed?
      No matter what moral emphasis you place on it, chances are if you ever been in love you sometimes will 'cheat' to hold strength to your own relationship. Monogamy is a two dimensional relationship and no man or woman likes someone who goes outside of the equation to provide what they should expect form them.
   
   Advice: Be a team player..... emphasis on the player. True players always keep a claim head and once the home wrecker realizes that they are just a Beta wolf, they will eventually abandon your mate. However if you loose your cool....you just promoted that Beta to your alpha position. (Use type one tactics as well)
3. Rebellious nature: Sometimes people will do something naughty just to be defiant. Sometimes there people in abusive relationships and they don't know how to get out of it. There are also people who wish to get something their partner is either unwilling or unable to provide. However, Instead of trying to negotiate their partner to bring a sense of mutual stratification.  This is like the Married man who goes to strip clubs, or the Married woman who enrolls full time in to college and takes the 19 year old boy the the movies. Chances are even if something sexual does happen the 'rebellious types' the to be the most loyal. Sadly, there only one type of rebellious mates on the market are the hoes. 
   
   Advice: Pimp dat hoe or Drop that hoe: A hoe can be male of female. It like this, just like how street hookers got put out on the street because of their nasty rebellious attitudes toward their parents, then they get exploited by a pimp. Well don't leave your relationship empty handed...if they gonna go sleeping around make sure they give you something in return ....other than a STD. No matter how you put it, You might not wanna marry that individual.
4. Lack of Appreciation:  Okay, this is a hard pill for all of us to shallow. Sometimes you are in a failed relationship and you are holding on to hopes and dreams more so than a combined livelihood. We can get so accustomed to having that security of living with someone who used to love us, but don't want to find security else where at the same time. Most men who cheat use this as their #1 one excuse; while most women would simply dump a man first ask questions later. Hell make it so bad, simple words like 'Thank you' and 'I love you' can sometimes make all the difference.
   
   Advice: Ladies: DO NOT CHANGE THE RULES OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!! True, the longer that you know am an the higher your explications and standards for the man you love becomes. However, men really don't like to change. Sometimes, this may require you to try or do somethings you wouldn't not ordinarily have done, but deep down in side all a man wants is a woman who is cool to chill with. Guys: YOU CANNOT FORCE A WOMAN TO LOVE YOU.  If you can't step up your game, then step away form her....if she loves you...turn around and see if you don't see her frowny-ass following behind you (stalking you basically) she may not be happy with your lack of game, but all women are attracted to realness...and Men who cheat lack that quality.
   
   
   

  At the end of the day asking "Why do you cheat?" period is like drinking alcohol, or masturbate, no matter how you put it cheating is a matter of one's character and character is defined by what someone does, when you aren't looking. If you are doing something that you are not willing to tell your partner then you are in fact cheating. The chances are if you cheat, you know you got an awesome partner at the end of the day.